Heather Graham’s Golden State of Mind

Heather Graham has long been a symbol of effortless cool—cool-spirited, sun-drenched, and unapologetically herself. From cult classics to behind-the-camera passion projects, she’s carved a path that’s as fearless as it is fascinating. Now entering a new era of creativity and calm, the actress, director, and writer opens up about what fuels her freedom, the beauty of reinvention, and why living with intention is her ultimate luxury.

You’ve been in the public eye for decades, yet you seem to defy time. What’s your philosophy on aging, and how do you navigate the pressures of staying youthful in Hollywood?

I think what matters most is how you feel inside. Decide that you’re hot and enjoy your life. What other people think of you is none of your business. If you feel good about yourself, no one can take that away from you. Pursue the things that fill you with joy, and surround yourself with loving people. I don’t drink or do drugs, and I get a lot of sleep. Eating healthy makes me feel good. I like cooking for myself and other people. And I love it when people cook for me. Basically, I like eating! Also, I do affirmations. I think they are very powerful. I work on strengthening my inner loving parent muscle, so I can be supportive and loving to myself. One of my affirmations is: “This is the best time of my life”.

What does wellness mean to you today, and how has that definition evolved over the years?

Wellness is being kind to yourself and doing nurturing things. I work out, eat healthy, do yoga and meditate. I have always been into wellness. I learned how to meditate when I was 21, and I have been doing 40 minutes a day ever since. I really love yoga, it gets me out of my head and into my body so I can enjoy the moment. But I think the most important thing is to have loving people around you. I have some wonderful friends, and I am so grateful for them. I appreciate relaxing more than I ever did before. I love getting cranial sacral therapy. It has helped me unlock patterns of tension in my body that I didn’t realise I had. I think the most important thing is to love yourself because then you have more love to give. Fill up your cup first before you give to other people. Also, it’s so good to have a sense of humour!

You once said that pleasure and self-care aren’t guilty—just essential. How do you prioritise pleasure in your daily life?

I think it’s important to get enough sleep, so I’m not cranky heehee. I check in with friends if I’m feeling overwhelmed so I can get back on track. Mainly, I work on being grateful. It’s so easy to want more instead of being truly grateful for everything you have. I have a friend that I do gratitude lists with. Also, I work on having a spiritual connection to something bigger than myself. I feel connected to spirituality when I’m in nature. I just bought my dream home, where I have lots of windows and I can see the ocean. Looking at the ocean makes me happy. I try to accept that sometimes I can’t always be happy, and to love myself in the sad moments and be a loving parent to myself.

From “Boogie Nights” to now, you’ve portrayed women who are both sensual and empowered. How has your relationship with femininity shifted in your personal life?

I do feel like I am ahead of my time heehee. Nowadays, so many women are enjoying their sexuality, but when I was coming up, there was definitely judgment around that. It’s great to watch younger women feel freer to be sexual and not to worry about cultural bias. I love listening to female stand-ups like Amy Schumer and Ali Wong. I love how open they are about talking about sex. It’s so fun to hear their female perspective.

What’s your current non-negotiable morning ritual that sets the tone for your day?

I don’t want anyone to wake me up until I’m ready to wake up! I need to eat breakfast immediately, I don’t understand how some people don’t eat breakfast. I make a delicious peanut butter cacao nibs oatmeal with berries that’s like a healthy chocolate peanut butter cookie. Yum!

You radiate a sense of calm. What’s one practice or mindset that helps you stay grounded in a chaotic world?

I call my friends who are super emotionally intelligent when I’m freaking out and take their constructive feedback. I think it’s important to have people to talk to whom you trust. They listen to my freak-outs so I can calm down and bring my best self to the rest of my life. I do yoga, I meditate, I try to relax as much as I can, because I think I’m a better version of myself when I’m relaxed. Vacations are important!

Is there a wellness philosophy or cultural practice you’ve picked up during your travels that’s stayed with you?

I go to Al-Anon, which is a 12-step group for people who have a family member, friend or work associate who struggles with addiction. I have never had a problem with drinking or drugs, but sometimes I have problems with relationships. Or if you have any difficult people in your life, it can help you learn how to deal with them better, in a more loving way, and most importantly, to take better care of yourself.

How do you nourish yourself—mind, body, and soul—when you’re not working?

I do yoga, there’s a very hard, sweaty class that I love. I’ve been writing, which is fun. I love reading books and catching up on movies and TV shows. But mostly I like seeing my friends. And I also love spending time alone to decompress and do nothing. I make soup and other delicious things! Also, it’s good to find other ways to give back that feel fun and rewarding. I work with a charity called the Cambodian Children’s Fund, and it’s so fun to watch the kids I have been sponsoring go to college.

If you could tell your younger self one thing about beauty or wellness, what would it be?

Be nice to yourself – it’s the only thing that really matters.

You’ve become a symbol of ageless beauty and personal power. What do you hope your legacy is when it comes to redefining what it means to be well—and to be a woman?

Wow, thank you so much! That is an incredible compliment. I really appreciate that. I think the culture can be hard on women, so I think it’s good to unplug and just decide to feel good about yourself. I think a lot of women feel our value is in taking care of other people, and we neglect ourselves. I think it’s important for women to put themselves first, to truly love and take care of themselves first, and only give from the overflow. I’m working on having my own production company. I would love to make movies and TV shows from a female perspective with female protagonists, and tell stories that are inspiring to women and hopefully inspiring to men too. I think when women feel good about themselves, the world is a better place. Women have so many beautiful things to offer. It’s good to appreciate how great women are and listen to what they have to say!

Heather’s Holiday Rules

If you could wake up anywhere tomorrow, no jet lag—where would it be?

I love Italy and Tulum.

What’s your go-to ritual when you need to hit reset?

I love sleeping, I can easily stay in bed all day.

One fashion item that’s always in your suitcase?

I love my Golden Goose shoes. Also, I’m always cold, so I need lots of cute warm jackets.

Most unforgettable resort you’ve ever stayed at—go.

Mezzatorre Ischia in Italy and Nômade in Tulum.

Next stop on your travel wish list?

I need to think about this, maybe Peru…

Favourite spa treatment: quick fix or full-day escape?

I love cranial sacral therapy, I’m obsessed.

Beach girl or city lover?

Beach girl for sure!

Best trick for bouncing back after a long flight?

Take melatonin; I like Doc Parsley’s sleep remedy

Is there a travel trend or beachwear look you’re into right now?

I have so many bathing suits – I love getting a good bathing suit.

What are your three carry-on must-haves?

LANEIGE Lip Sleeping Mask (Vanilla), a moisturiser, and my iPad with downloaded books, movies, and TV shows!

Photography by: VERONICA SAMS

Assistant: IAN VERBOON

Video: ALEX SAFDIE 

Makeup: LEYLA HAYAURI

Hair: PAUL NORTON of Tracy Mattingly Agency

Style: HANNA KERRI